domingo, 25 de noviembre de 2007

El Viaje definitivo... La fuerza de todo lo que existe

Como un puma que descansa en el hueco de un árbol, que frunce el ceño y contempla con la desdicha melancólica del desafortunado, entre pastos largos y gotas de rocío salado. Arturo Kepec se reconocía en un puma, en esa mirada atónita que atraviesa, intensa pero sin fijeza.

Nunca en su vida había sufrido un ataque de tal melancolía. Una tristeza horizontal, sin fundamento preciso. Una mezcla de añoranza pura por aquellas zonas profundas que develan la existencia y un absoluto horror de su escalofriante soledad.

Podía pasar extensos periodos de embotamiento ensimismado en la presicion de su conciencia. Intentaba descifrar algo vedado: un secreto desarrollado en las condiciones más inhóspitas, un cifrado jeroglífico aturdido.

Arturo Kepec estaba sentado desde hacia tiempo y dejaba que el fluir determinase su estado, permanecía esperando el resplandor de la conciencia que le acrecentase la visión. Estaba decidido a pelear contra todos los enemigos que se cruzasen y a morir si era necesario.

Había elegido la guerra y ya no le quedaba otra opción que pelear como un buen guerrero contra los embates fraudulentos de la soberana cruel que reinaba en los corazones frágiles. En la vida de los guerreros es algo natural estar triste sin ninguna razón aparente. Se presiente el destino final cada vez que uno rompe las fronteras de lo conocido: vislumbrar la eternidad es suficiente para romper la seguridad.

Sabía que necesitaba de todo su caudal energético para atravesar el umbral de lo conocido y adentrarse en otras aguas. La única manera de lograrlo era destruir los hábitos innecesarios. Este mecanismo liberaba a su conciencia de la absorción de si misma y le brindaba libertad para enfocarse en otras cosas.
Poco a poco fue desprendiéndose de su importancia personal. Cada vez las cosas le afectaban menos. Su máximo deseo era adentrarse hasta el meollo y poder contemplar con la serenidad de la visión esa voz debeladora del misterio humano. En muchas ocasiones mientras estudiaba sus procedimientos, su pensamiento se desviaba y retornaba a cierta lógica fraudulenta que le hacia ver su excentricidad, su locura nominal y absurda, su carencia de utilidad, su proyecto desmesurado y cómico.

Poco a poco fue desprendiéndose de este hábito, ya casi lograba con total facilidad transportarse hacia una zona donde su pensamiento corría el velo de la ordinariez. Kepec tenia almacenada la energía necesaria como para captar lo desconocido, mediante una serie de practicas, formulas inescrutables, encantaciones y largos procesos que tiene que ver con el manejo de una fuerza muy particular, una fuerza que se encuentra presente en todo lo que existe.

El misterio de esta fuerza fuel el que le hizo crear sus practicas secretas. El conocimiento de la tierra tenia que ver con todo lo que se encuentra en el suelo. Había series particulares de movimientos, palabras, ungüentos, pociones que se aplicaban a personas, animales, insectos, árboles, plantas pequeñas, piedras y todo lo demás.

Arturo Kepec estaba sentado desde hacia tiempo. Su rancho es grande, caleado, oscurecida la paja del techo. Un patio de tierra mal afirmada, perros flacos, un puerco, gallinas, patos. Trozos de alambre, madera. Aparecen las estrellas, Arturo acomoda los troncos y el fuego crece. Saca un pedazo de tela de su morral, lo desenvuelve y acomoda la tela abierta en la tierra; toma dos de las semillas y las suelta dentro de un jarro metálico agregándole agua que hervía en una caldera al fuego. Luego bebe la infusión de un solo trago. Otra de las semillas la entierra un dedo y la última la traga sin masticar. Se escucha el alarido de un cerdo y un rayo atraviesa el cielo partiéndolo al medio provocando un fogonazo de luz.

Arturo Kepec bate el parche de cuero de zorro tensado sobre el tronco hueco de un ceibo. Borro todos sus pensamientos, el asunto consistía en no pensar en nada. Dejo vagar su mirada sin enfocar ninguna parte. En el lugar donde había enterrado la semilla comenzó a brotar un tallo ni bien el agua de la lluvia humedeció la tierra. Arturo Kepec había aprendido que el agua no solo era la fuente de la vida, sino también humedad y fluidez. La humedad del agua humedece o empapa, la fluidez del agua mueve: “El agua nos fue dada no solo para la vida, sino también como la conexión, como el camino a otros niveles”, esas palabras resonaron en su memoria como un latido del pasado.

Del tallo creció una Bromelia, y la Bromelia comenzó a llenarse de agua, de esa acumulación apareció un sapito negro con manchas rojas. Todo el proceso ocurría con aceleración, era un proceso natural acelerado por la magia de las circunstancias.

El cuerpo de Arturo Kepec tembló, se sacudía de pies a cabeza. Lentamente logro controlar su temor. Sentía una fuerza incontenible que lo apretaba. No sentía dolor, ni siquiera angustia. No sentía nada, pero sabía que no podía romper el apretón de esa fuerza mediante un acto de voluntad o fortaleza. Sabia que se estaba muriendo… levanto la vista automáticamente para mirar al cielo y en ese instante dos gotas cayeron sobre sus ojos abiertos, el sapito salto en el aire y paso por sobre su cabeza, alcanzo a oír una voz que le decía: “Nuestros ojos son las llaves que abren las puertas de lo desconocido, contemplar el agua permite que tus ojos abran el camino”.

Cuando el sapito desapareció por detrás de su cabeza, la lluvia amaino y la fuerza lo soltó. Estaba libre. Arturo Kepec se levanto y camino en silencio. La fuerza que lo envolvió fue tan poderosa que durante varias horas después, quedo incapacitado para hablar, incluso para pensar. Lo había congelado una total ausencia de voluntad.

“No hay nada mas solitario que la eternidad” pensó Arturo Kepec tiempo después recostado sobre unas mantas en su rancho. Poco a poco iba calentándose y emergiendo una nueva luz en su interior, una especie de fuego que lo mantenía presente. “Nada es mas cómodo que la condición humana”, este pensamiento le sobrevino al vuelo, no era suyo; podía darse cuenta de que una pequeña corriente electrizaba su atención y la dirigía a una zona desconocida. En ese momento pudo vislumbrar con total certeza la razón de su tristeza, era un sentimiento recurrente en él, algo que siempre olvidaba hasta el momento de enfrentarlo de nuevo: la insignificancia de la humanidad. Alguien raspaba la puerta, Arturo Kepec se levanto y fue a abrirla dejando entrar a su perro negro. Agrego unos troncos mas al fuego y se acomodo en las mantas, el perro hizo lo mismo junto a el. El fuego ardía. La luna afuera colgaba del cielo y alumbraba con su mágico resplandor.

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Я замужем недавно, всего 7 месяцев, но знаете, мне уже надоело

Меня начинает раздражать супруг, иногда доводит до бешенства, иногда это случается в ПМС и я спускаю на тормозах, а иногда это случается в обычные дни. Я не могу не замечать какие-то изъяны, они начинают меня бесить и жутко злюсь. Что же мне делать? Я не уступаю в мелочах, я упрямая, но ведь компромисс нужен?? Вообщем веду себя, как ребенок!

Как мне избавится ото всего этого?? Ведь люблю сюпрюга, хочу, чтоб семья была нормальной, но с собой справится не могу!!!
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